AppleSauce Publications
Last updated May 21, 2013
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- AppleSauce Spring 2013 Internet Edition (Full PDF) posted 5/21/13
- AppleSauce Winter 2013 Internet Edition (Full PDF) posted 3/7/13
- AppleSauce SPRING 2012 Internet Edition (full PDF) posted 6/14/12
- AppleSauce Winter 2012 Internet Edition (full PDF) posted 2/17/12
- AppleSauce Spring 2011 Internet Edition (full PDF) posted 6/2/11
- AppleSauce Spring 2010 Internet Edition (full PDF)
- AppleSauce Winter 2009-2010 Internet Editon (full PDF)
- AppleSauce Spring 2009 Selections
- AppleSauce Winter 2008-2009 Selections
- AppleSauce Spring 2008 Selections
- AppleSauce Spring 2009 (full PDF)
- AppleSauce Winter 2008-2009 (full PDF)
- For older AppleSauce editions, please see the Archive.
Selections from the 2010 Spring Edition of AppleSauce
Selections from the 2009 Spring Edition of AppleSauce
Melbin, Timony Grammar School
Dad’s from ’61 Dad’s from ’61 |
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A Remarkable AdventureI was in my living room, I ran for the window, I was planning on alerting The wolves had me surrounded, Tim |
New BeginningsOne’s hair is symbolic, poem and artwork by Madelaine listen to Madelaine talk about her poem and her art
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ReptilesOne normal day in the Parthum School, our teacher was in her usual mood. “You have been flunking every single exam!” she screamed. “Why can’t you ever behave yourself?” she always hollered. But then one day the principal came to talk with her. “So why did you bring me here?” she asked. “Well, you see, I have been getting complaints about you.” “Like what?” “Like you’re not teaching! You don’t give examples to help them. You are yelling at them. Parents are complaining about kids not learning. They misbehave because they are telling you to actually teach!” “Well, what to do propose that I do?” “Nothing!” “What?” ‘That’s right, nothing! You know why?” He didn’t give her time to reply. “For strange matters I’m afraid I have to tell you. You are dismissed.” Mrs. Hamel was now extremely demented. “I will get my revenge!” she shouted with wicked glee. “In the Halloween dance coming up in a few weeks.” She started laughing maniacally in her car. In a week she planned her revenge. It was ingenious. She went all over the internet to buy or order some snakes. She captured dragons, cobras, vipers and more, even the world’s most poisonous snake, the black twelve foot taipan that has the venom to kill two hundred thirty men in one bite. She needed a place to store the reptiles so she hid them in metal containers that were super locked. She helped deliver them to school by telling them they were donated from an anonymous person, and told the school not to open the containers because they were a surprise. Then she sneaked right into the school, opened the containers and ran right out. Then she sat down and watched the disturbing magic. “They won’t slither away with this one!” she cackled, and once again laughed maniacally. She did everything as planned. At the dance, everyone was starting to sign on. “Hey, I’ll meet you guys in a minute. I’ve got to use the bathroom,” proclaimed John. He was entering the bathroom and finished his business. To his horror, when he was exiting, there was a reticulated python blocking the exit. It was a thirty-five foot snake, the longest in the world! What are the chances? “What the heck is that?” It was slithering towards him. The closer it got, the more he stepped back. The python was extremely hungry. It went into striking position and did the attack. It was a perfect shot. It constricted him and ate him. Another teacher remembered that John was missing. She went to look for him. She heard John screaming in the bathroom. She ran as fast as she could. She opened the door and said, “What in the name of Parthum is going on! Oh my gosh!” She saw John getting swallowed whole. She ran to the nearest window and jumped out of it. Unfortunately there was a Gila monster there. It was so shocked that it bit and poisoned her. What a rotten lunch she got-- cuts and broken bones. Plus, she got bit by one of the world’s most poisonous reptiles. Meanwhile, everyone was dancing to Soldier Boy and 50 Cent, except three sixth grade girls. Emily, Kasandra, and Alexa went for a walk around the school. Little did they know, it would be their last. “Oh man, this really stinks!” said Kasandra. “Everyone is having a good time!” replied Emily. “Well, Emily, it’s because you have to go off and dis other people!” said Alexis. “Well I can’t help it!” “Will you just be quiet! I heard something coming from the broom closet.” They opened the broom closet. Inside were black taipans, the world’s most poisonous snake. “OMG! What are those things doing here?” screamed Kasandra. “I don’t know and I don’t care. Let’s just get out of here!” As soon as they ran they got bitten by each of them. The venom causes tissue breaking and paralyzation. They were doomed. Everything went downhill from there. Isaiah was bitten by a diamondback rattlesnake. Another poor teacher was eaten by an emerald tree boa. Rubin and Edwin were attacked by the speedy and dangerous black mamba. Joshua confused the deadly and aggressive bushmaster for a harmless grass snake. Poor guy! The principal went to the office and had an unfriendly meeting with a king cobra. Adrian was merely walking when he was hustled, strangled, and eaten by an African rock python. Alexis got herself in trouble by provoking a komodo dragon and was ripped to shreds for a satisfying meal. Will this teacher get away with it? Well, let’s see her. “Ha, ha ha, ha, ha. This is so rich!” She was watching the victims on her camera. “This is too good! Take that!” she proclaimed. “I have to see the magic myself.” She said to herself happily. She drove from Boston to Lawrence to see the damage with her own eyes. “Oh my, this is insane. Too bad!” she started to cackle. “About half the students are poisoned and the other half is ripped to shreds,” she said to herself. She went to check for more damage until she came across a salt water crocodile, the biggest and probably the most dangerous crocodilian. It ran towards her. She tried to run but she tripped over a corpse and she was eaten. The entire city had to evacuate because the reptiles were on the loose. Over two hundred fifty kids died in those three hours, or were in critical condition. The reign of terror continues all over the city and is spreading. The End Or is it? Samson, Parthum Middle School |
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Hypothetical QuestionsOne of the most common questions I tend to hear coming out of people’s mouths is, “If your house caught fire and you could only save one item, what would it be?” Think about the question for a moment. Does it really make sense at all? It certainly doesn’t from my point of view. Isn’t the house on fire? If it’s on fire then why are you still in the house? Prioritize. Step 1: Get out of the burning building. Have you done any of these things yet in the hypothetical situation? Why not? Stop deciding what item you are going to save and get out of there! Do you want to die? Do you? I hope not. If you do you should seek help immediately. Besides, how do you expect to get this chosen item of yours out of the house in the first place? What if you pick, hypothetically, something along the lines of a refrigerator, a washing machine, or a heavy stone fireplace? How do you expect to get that out of the house? How? It’s completely illogical. I try my best to stay out of burning houses, but think about the situation. What are the odds that something like that would actually happen? If your house catches fire, isn’t it logical to follow my helpful guide conveniently located on the lines above? You, under no circumstances, should try to save something. It doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. That is why I have decided to start a committee to make hypothetical questions illegal. Hypothetical questions are the clear cause for the worst conflict our nation has ever witnessed. They cause our nation’s youth to think. It is one of the worst things that can happen. The complicated chain reaction begins with the exercising of our children’s minds. Once the children have exercised their minds they are on the road to becoming literate and well-educated. Well-educated children will age into well-educated adults. These adults will then work at high paying occupations in our economy. This will make the economy better, lower the unemployment rate, and, worst of all, improve the value of the American dollar. Don’t we want our current depression to be as great as the last one? This is what hypothetical questions are doing at this very minute. These questions, or as I like to call them, leeches of society, have created educated individuals within our civilization, and, consequently, we are on the way to removing ourselves from the depression. It will be disastrous if we do not find a way to stop it. There are so many of these questions being asked each day, and they must be stopped. They waste precious time. What if there was an agnostic baboon with diabetes? What if you were handcuffed to a zebra? What if a giant hole tore through the universe? Why do we care? Seriously? I repeat, why do we care? Please consider it. Join the Aidan Olsen Committee to Ban Hypothetical Questions From Common and Complex Society For the Rest of Eternity. Aidan, North Andover Middle School listen to Aidan read his piece |
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SunriseGirl on roof Katie |
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Casey, Wood Hill M.S. Sword and ShieldWinter’s time is up. Nikki |
Like a StormShe stamps her feet as loud as thunder, Alexis Alexis, Parthum School |
Selections from the Spring Edition, 2008
Gladys |
I’m a BaseballI’ve been batted far and wide, Mark |
StaplerWaiting in the open sunlight, a statue Robert ,. Jessica |
Gina Petrified Grey FacePetrified Grey Face Ashley Waiting for the Moving TruckSitting on the hot pavement, Mackenzie |
Selections from the Winter Edition, 2008
Yearly TearsDay Rosanna |
Cover photo by Abby |
Gladys |
Ashly |
SorrowSorrow is black like a day without my dad Querube |
EnvyEnvy is jealousy’s best friend Tanairi |
Page Last modified: May 21 2013 09:32:53.





























Melbin, Timony Grammar School
Carmen, Tenny Grammar School
Gina, Doherty Middle School



